I’m already working on building character in this third child. Whereas with Ford, my first baby, all I could think about was being pregnant and the impending joy of motherhood; and with Vivi, I relished in the excitement of being a mom to a baby girl, learning to love pink and floral and brimming with thankfulness to teward this mystery of femininity in a daugher; for this precious third gift of life, I truly do often forget I’m pregnant. Not because I feel incredible or don’t have a giant belly at 8+ months pregnant or anything, but because my head is usually spinning wondering where the older child has disappeared, or gritting my teeth as the newly two-year-old insists on doing it “all myself.” So our third child will, for better or worse, probably not often mistake himself for the center of the universe in the same way we might have set his big brother or sister up to.
Case in point: I kept blogs for Ford and Vivi while I was pregnant with them. What does this baby have to show for his time en utero? A whole bunch of sonogram pictures in a drawer that also holds cough syrup, chopsticks and plant tags (I think some people would call that a junk drawer?).
Ummm. Sorry, baby. I promise you, you are no less loved. In fact, you are probably our most prayed-for baby!
Not only did Brad and I spend a ton of time praying about the IDEA of having a third child and when God would have us grow our family – Brad has always been gung-ho about having a big family, and I am in theory, but in practice, the day-to-day is HARD! – but also, there were some quirks with this pregnancy early on that brought me into a real dependence and trust in God and his plan.
I learned I was pregnant EARLY – I think the very first day a pregnancy test could be positive. I scheduled my first sonogram for a few weeks later, and when there should have been an image of an eight-week-old fetus, there was… not much. Maybe a yolk sac? But it wasn’t clear at all, and not consistent with what they would expect, according to my dates. I was told that this could signal an early miscarriage and to come back again in about three weeks if I hadn’t had any symptoms of miscarriage. Three weeks go by and I returned. This time, there was a tiny baby there (still smaller and less developed than they would have expected), but there was also a subchorionic hemmhorage, which my doctor explained was a separation between the placenta and the uterine wall that caused a bleed. It did raise my miscarriage risk, but could also be harmless. She instructed me to take it easy until 20 weeks, when they would do another ultrasound. She also suggested that while unlikely, the abnormalities could signal a chromosomal problem, like a trisomy (Down Syndrome, Edward’s Syndrome, etc.) and recommended further blood work, which Brad and I opted not to do since we pay our medical expenses mostly out of pocket (and even if a trisomy was identified, we wouldn’t do anything about it other than prepare our hearts for those challenges). So much prayer for baby’s health and well-being during that time, and also that Brad and I would be faithful to trust God and feel his peace during the waiting.
Because of the inconsistency in size and appearance, and due to the fact that I tend to go closer to 41 weeks with my pregnancies, my doctor set a later due date for me. She guessed that baby would arrive between May 6 and May 20. I’m no stranger to uncertain due dates, so that’s fine – but I will say, finding out so early has made this pregnancy feel longer! Also, I had terrible nausea from eight to about 14 weeks, the worst of it hitting during a windstorm that knocked out our power for four days! I’ve been receiving regular chiropractic care for a misaligned sacrum (lower back pain), and I was sicker than I’ve been in YEARS around seven months pregnant – double pink eye, double ear infection, bacterial sinus infection – yikes! It’s hard being pregnant and so sick! Fortunately the kids have been really well behaved lately (I credit part of that to us going TV-free!), and Brad, as always, is an incredible support and picks up the slack for me when I’m down for the count.
Speaking of the kids, they are so excited to welcome a baby brother… for the most part. It hasn’t always been so – see video here. But Ford, who has always been tenderhearted and nurturing and is great with babies, now excitedly stores baby toys in his room “for his baby brudder” and talks excitedly about the things he’s going to do to make the baby laugh. Vivi is a mama’s girl through and through, and she becomes extremely jealous and whiny any time I hold a friend’s baby. She insists “I baby!” and falls apart at my feet, hysterical. She LOVES baby dolls and the books we read about becoming a big brother or big sister, but the sight of me with a tinier one than she is too much to handle. I figure it may be a rough adjustment for her, but in time, she will get over it. I also have noticed that as I’ve been more consistently praying for her heart in preparation for the changes ahead, she has softened. I was actually able to babysit a friend’s newborn recently and she didn’t throw a fit once. She asks me lots of questions about the baby in my tummy and has started “petting” my tummy. Ford, whose mind fascinates me, asks me if the baby is going to chew his way out of my belly button and other “process” questions. So far we have tried to answer his questions honestly but in an age-appropriate way. Not sure he’s totally satisfied with our responses… Eeek!
Oh, but I don’t want to leave you hanging! At the 20-week ultrasound, everything about baby boy’s size and anatomy looked perfect. The hemorrhage had reabsorbed and was not going to be an issue. He was even measuring a bit larger than the doctor’s late due date. Interestingly, his head isn’t as huge as the other kids’ yet – at their 20-week ultrasounds, their heads were proportionally measuring bigger than their bodies – but this guy seems pretty evened-out, so far! Of course, he is a Gaultney, so there is time for that to change. I think he looks a lot like Vivi in profile. Can’t wait to see him in a few short weeks!
Lord, I praise you for your creativity and your perfect plans. Thank you for the tremendous blessing of this baby! What a privilege to be entrusted with another life. Please prepare Brad and me for the task of shepherding his heart, and bring him to know you at an early age. I ask for a smooth and uncomplicated delivery, and that the baby would be healthy… and not colicky, either!
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